But it was near the end of summer when I realized that my thoughts and feelings had transcended mere friendship. I grew to love her, romantically. I desired her. My attentions were not long lost on her. She was wary of my affection. On the night before my parents' return, we sat close on the couch of my basement apartment. I had dimmed the light to a romantic glow, both of us having shared dinner--now a commonplace occurrence."Why are you upset?" Because..." Because why?" I stroked her face gently, moving closer to her."Because I love you," she said in a whisper.I looked seriously into her tear-filled eyes. "I know. I love you too."She shook her head. "No, not--I think we're confusing what we really mean." Yes, you love me in a motherly sort of way. Okay. So I can accept that with our age difference. But don't you have any other feelings for me too, like I have for you? I mean, I love you, not as a master to a maid, not as a student to his teacher, or a patient for his nurse. I love. ..Dominique--who represents the more dominant, anarchic sideof my desires--...Samantha--whose flexibility in her desires evensurprised ME when I wrote them--...and Evelyn--who's basically a muchsmarter, less experimental version of myself." Fair enough. But there's a question I just HAVE to ask you..." I'm not even sure why I wrote that in anymore...I'm sorry I wrote it,and I'm sorry for what I did to you with it, but I won't take it back.Part of it was to show just how much the core cast cared for you...partof it was a convenient way for you to find out about me...but the mainreason for writing it escapes me right now. Maybe it was some kind ofjealousy at how easy I made it for you, I don't know. But again, I'mdeeply sorry for that, Monica."Monica took my hand, looked me in the eye, and said, "I forgive you." Thank you. That means a lot to me. I swear I will make it up to you ina future chapter." No problem. By the way, I have another question. How come you had menever.
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